(VSCO – She’s leaving, Adinrxd )
You kept telling yourself what if you’re alone and there’s no one else around you. You kept asking for advise because you didn’t know how others would react. You kept asking yourself can you survive and wondering how safe it will be. You kept weighing the pros and cons – even finding the solutions for the cons. You kept hesitating to tell your parents. You kept holding back your tears. You went from anxious to speechless. You couldn’t form the reason into words to explain. You want it so bad but you don’t know how to make others understand that desperation. You fought through countless of emotions. You cried countless of times just for this dream.
The girl who everyone thought that won’t take risks, took risk today.
You had to be selfish because it’s the only thing you would want to do for yourself. You planned everything on your own. You felt the adrenaline rush when you bought a one-way ticket flight to seal the dream. The most difficult part is to distant yourself from your parents. It was so hard. You broke their heart by saying that you’re leaving even though you will come back in several months later. You stood your ground and didn’t flinch even if others bombarded you of things that might happen to you.
We came such a long way to this date that test the true meaning of friendship – distance. We used to doodle Korean idols’ names or stupid drawings on our table in school. I used to follow you run for korean idols in the airport and even queue overnight for a concert. And a year ago, you were telling me your plans of your soul searching journey to Korea with much uncertainty. It was so hard, emotionally and mentally, I saw it from your trembling voice and sad eyes. Look where you are now?
You’re so great. You’re so great at being so stubborn for your own happiness. I’ve gained more respect for you and I do look up to you for your determination. You, my best friend – Winona, made me taste the reality of you not here with me. I know we would talk 24/7 or exchange selfies or perhaps videocall or whatever to keep in touch, but your physical being make a whole lot of difference. But nevertheless, I am so proud of you. Even if you’re thousand miles away, or even if we missed each others’ 21st birthday, you will always be in my thoughts throughout your absence.
“She’s brave”; You’re brave.